| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|09:08 pm] |
I have discovered the pen and paper.
Adios.
-aaron |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|06:41 pm] |
Christmas time. I fucking hate the holidays, all this fake happiness is bullshit. People buy useless crap to give to people they lie about behind their back. The New Year is approaching, and I am looking forward to something new. A new start, a new semester, another chance to not fuck-it-up. And since we're on the topic of a new start, I'm finally realizing how blind I've been the last nine months. Sara and I are over, this is not new news to most of you, and yes, this time it is for good. In fact, she's already dating someone else. So soon, but I supposed I shouldn't care. Of course the guy is a tool, but so have all her past partners. I just happened to be the least doucheiest of them. She's going to be going through some tough times soon and I know she'll fall victim to the classic blunder of loneliness and look for sympathy in Mr. Tool's arms or fall into a faux friend's trap.
Bitterness is an ugly addiction.
I was an ass to her sometimes. I'd explode and say mean things when she would do stupid stuff or lie to me or pick up other guys behind my back. So I'm to blame for some of our damaged relationship. Then again, I would have stopped saying means things if she would have stopped doing mean things . . . It's your call reader, who's to blame?
Well, it doesn't matter.
The new year is approaching and I will no longer have classes with her again and no longer have to work with her anymore. These two key things lift weight from my mind. I am not one to be friends after the relationship is over, not this time. The scars are too deep. And I'm sure the story will be painted a different shade and in the end I'll end up looking like the bastard who did so many terrible things. But I don't care.
My college career is almost over. I had put off graduating for a girl and now realize that was one of the most unprofessional acts in my life. But the extra year will give me time to study abroad and boost my GPA to a level where graduate school isn't such a huge task. The main goal is to just get out of this town. Purdue has been okay for my time here, but I've achieved most of my goals and gained too many enemies. I now live here over breaks and feel like a townie.
The next four weeks will tick by slowly. I'll become bored and run out of drugs and booze. The lack of female companionship will start to fester and burn like a run-away rash. I hope to complete six books or so and maybe even get a head start on next semester's reading.
We shall see . . .
All in all this last year has been a roller coaster. But I bought the ticket and I took the ride. I knew what crazy adventures waited in the fun house of mirrors and I went in anyway. No one to blame but myself for the girls who were terrible for me, no one to blame but myself for the classes I blew off, and no one to blame but myself if I let depression get the better of me.
No, I will not crumble during this holiday season, I will remain bitter but strong. Fuck this place, the people are all blending into one faceless frame, all the buildings have the same grey fronts. Spring is far away and winter has just now begun.
Dig in deep. The fighting has just begun. It's going to be hell this winter.
Good luck.
-aaron |
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| Cold Turkey |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|02:46 pm] |
This list goes out to Alice. Here's to being an idiot and here's to moving on. Fuck that guy. These are some albums to get you through:
Rubber Soul - The Beatles
Blonde On Blonde - Bob Dylan
Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea - P.J. Harvey
Aftermath - The Rolling Stones
Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins
Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie
Building Nothing Out of Something - Modest Mouse
Good luck.
-aaron |
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| Ramble |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|10:20 am] |
It has been a long and strange week. Finals came too soon and somehow I survived. I even did well, surprising; I don't feel that I've done much of anything this semester. School is falling into place, through a series of events that don't make sense I've even found a foothold on the tall ladder of rock and roll and may even find a way to wedge my foot in the door of some place where I can write about music for a living. Strange. Remain hopeful yet realistic.
Many of my friends have entered the world outside of college, all of which seems distant to me at this point. Still, I should be in the same boat come May. I dogged that bullet, temporarily at least. One more year in this place, just enough time to get everything done. Not that Von's isn't a great platform from which to jump into the big money of business. The clientele this morning have been amazing. A Russian family who were amazed by the flying magnets, an old woman on the phone who can't decipher the dual-disc format, an Arab young man who doesn't know the difference between AA and AAA batteries, and finally an old, thick Irish-accented man who felt it was perfectly fine to walk behind the counter to ask me questions.
I am getting paid, terribly but still paid, to be slightly hungover and stoned while listening to Modest Mouse. So not all is bad. And most of the people in this morning are probably offended by the noise blaring on the overhead speakers.
"Broke" is a great song. Pick up a copy of Build Something Out of Nothing if you have any interest in Modest Mouse at all. It's a good feel of their earlier sound, but still recent enough to be approachable to most listeners.
So many books to read over break. But now that I don't have to entertain a girlfriend who doesn't read, I think I'll have plenty of ample time to finish all of them. You loose some, you gain some. I'm trying not to have hard feelings about the last nine months. And as each day goes by I'm less and less bitter. Removing someone from your life is like kicking heroin. It takes a strong support group and some methadone occasionally, but the best way is to just go cold turkey. It's harder but in the end the best. Some of my friends have been through and are going through the same withdrawal, we are all idiots. But life is a lesson of learning, only bad if you keep repeating your mistakes.
This Friday's Holiday Party was nice. Plenty of drunk, loud bastards arguing and agreeing above the normal level. Jess matted and framed what was left of the American flag I burnt in drunken protest a month or so ago. An excellent gift by any standards. Elisha and Jott got me a book that bridges the gaps between quantum physics and buddhism and Jott also gave me a skull Mala made of bone. I haven't meditated or thought about the principles of positive influence in too long and am eager to start again. I'm lucky to have such great friends.
I hate winter in Indiana. The snow is pretty coming down in random sheets outside the record store window. But I know once I step outside I'll be cursing the lord in heaven who created such a place. God gets his punches in when he can, he fights dirty, but so do I. So fuck you God! Just kidding old man...
Well, time to get off my ass and find something more constructive to do.
-aaron |
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| Ancient East Wisdom |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|05:39 pm] |
Everyone loves fortune cookies. And the reason everyone loves fortune cookies is because they contain a postive message, some nugget of hope, a quip to brighten your day. People like fortune cookies because they're fucking happy, damn it. Well, that's what I thought. That's the plan I was following. Plans change.
A few days ago I opened the worst fortune cookie I have ever seen in my life. I think that's when I knew the future was just waiting, right around the corner, and when I turned my heels to head down the avenue of tomorrow fate would spring from its hiding place to beat me cross-eyed. After eating a nice, tasty meal I unwrapped the plastic package and prepared to receive my sunshine inside the hard shell. Instead, this is the message I found: "Become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Discomfort approaches. Prepare for tough times."
If you follow the chaos that has become my life then you understand the truth of the simple message found in a dessert. |
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| A New Hero In Town! |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|06:02 pm] |
 | You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.
Captain Jack Sparrow | | 92% | Lara Croft | | 88% | Neo, the "One" | | 79% | Maximus | | 75% | James Bond, Agent 007 | | 71% | El Zorro | | 67% | The Amazing Spider-Man | | 67% | Batman, the Dark Knight | | 67% | William Wallace | | 54% | Indiana Jones | | 50% | The Terminator | | 46% | </td>
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| A Notice |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|06:38 pm] |
Here are a few albums I can't stop listening to, check 'em out:
Thee Headcoats - Heaven's to Murgatroyd, Even! It's Thee Headcoats! (Already)
Sons and Daughters - The Repulsion Box
Spoon - A Series of Sneaks
Jurassic 5 - Quality Control
The Clash - The Clash
We all know I'm a bastard when it comes to, well, everything, but musical taste especially. I have a notice to everyone out there: Avenged Sevenfold sucks ass! Sucks Ass! The fact that they made a tribute song to Hunter S. Thompson pisses me off more than you can ever imagine. Plus, they ripped off Terry Gilliam's ideas to make a video praising trashy sluts and stupid drunks. Fucking Christ . . . The Good Doctor is raining down arrows from on high, unable to stop becoming an icon of a culture full of terrible cliches. Let's stop this nonsense once and for all. If you happen to meet any of the members of the band I urge you to find the nearest, sharpest object and jam it directly into their throats until a fountain of artery blood spurts forth like a garden hose. That is all.
-aaron |
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| Some Points That Need Addressing |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|06:48 pm] |
Here are some updates for all those bored enough to care:
Be sure to check up the next issue of Tipp-C, coming out on Nov. 16. I will have at least two articles in there, one interviewing SA of 311, another interviewing the President of PUCC, and possibly some show reviews if I get my ass in gear and write them in time for print this weekend.
Wendi has a very cool party, and an even cooler house, sorry to Wendi, I couldn't stay longer and sorry to Lauren who couldn't come.
The party for Adrianne went well on Saturday. There was a cock ring-toss (not cock-ring toss, that's just obscene) a small struggle broke out over blow-up J-Ho, however I was able to win her back, some kid showed up and became too drunk to have any game (who wants a hug?), also an American flag was burned (see pictures on my facebook page).
The 311 show was last night, thanks to Sara who got me free tickets and water during the show. The opening band was beyond horrible, but 311 put on a good show. (Read the whole review if and when I write it for Tipp-C.)
I think we all need to talk about the influx of white chocolate I've seen creeping in this holiday season. Let me be clear: this bullshit will not stand. White Chocolate is a joke played on people too stupid to care about quality. Never bring that shit around this house...
Okay, enough bitching, I'll post more later.
-aaron |
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| A Little More Than Top 5 |
[Nov. 3rd, 2005|10:56 am] |
The Only Living Boy In New York - Simon and Garfunkel
High and Dry - Radiohead
Gone For Good - The Shins
Selfless, Cold and Compossed - Ben Folds Five
Bitch - The Rolling Stones
The Road Leads Where It's Led - The Secret Machines
I Need Somebody - Iggy and The Stooges
To Be Young (Is To Be Sad, Is To Be High) - Ryan Adams
I'm The Man Who Loves You - Wilco
You're So Damn Hot - Ok Go
Lost Cause - Beck
You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - Bob Dylan
Your Know You're Right - Nirvana
Hey, Hey What Can I Do - Led Zepplin |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|06:27 pm] |
I'm sitting in the record store watching "High Fidelity" on Elisha's laptop while the sound comes out the speakers above. What a terrific movie. Music, love, and all the other bullshit that makes up life. For me at least. Do I share the same, completely ridiculous idea of love like John Cusak? Yes, and let's throw some "When Harry Met Sally" in the mix and to spawn a blubbering relationship doomed young man. But enough of this sappy crap.
The first order of business is the Tipp-C. On the next issue I'll have two, full sized articles. The first is a profile on the Purdue Underground Concert Committee. Nothing too special, just a group trying to make some sort of a music scene in this burned out town. The next is my interview with 311. Yes, that's right, I interviewed 311. I spoke with SA, the vocalist of the group, and he was, well, kinda slow. But that's alright, he's a musician in a dying band with nothing to do. All in all he was a nice guy. I'm looking forward to having a famous band in my writing resume.
The next thing to discuss is pot. Denver, my home city, I miss it so, has legalized marijuana, up to an ounce for those older than 21. Legal pot! It's fucking amazing and I can't wait to visit the Mile High City.
And now, the 12 CDs in my case for today:
Tiny Cities by Sun Kil Moon
Transatlantisim by Death Cab for Cutie
Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegtables by Dead Kennedys
Plastic Ono Band by John Lennon
Jacksonville City Nights by Ryan Adams and The Cardinals
Room On Fire by The Strokes
End Of The World Party by Medeski Martin and Wood
Under A Blood Red Sky by U2
The Mysterious Production of Eggs by Andrew Bird
EMotive by A Perfect Circle
Grassroots by 311
Several Arrows Later by Matt Pond PA
That's all for now folks...
-aaron |
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| Read It |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|10:49 pm] |
The latest issue of the Tipp-C should be out this week. Check out my artist profile on long time, local musicians Without Annette.
-aaron |
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| Take Me Back or I Don't Do Homework |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|12:52 am] |
Drain You - Nirvana
Self Esteem - The Offspring
Summer Babe (Winter Version) - Pavement
Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
Car - Built To Spill
Anna Begins - The Counting Crows
State of Love and Trust - Pearl Jam
Boys Don't Cry - Oleander
The Good Life - Weezer
Looking Through The Eye of a Pig - Cypruss Hill
Ah middle school, those were the days. The days when girls grew breasts, boys discovered masturbation, and good music was being revieled to our young minds. Thanks for turing me into the bitter boy I am today pop music. |
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| Trapped |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|11:35 pm] |
Slowly, I'm in danger of going insane, not the quiet, calm, sit-alone-in-the-dark insane, but truly, truly mad. This town is dull. These classes are useless. And the people, with the exception of a select few, are all riddled with stupidity and hate. So, I'm pleading with anyone who reads this to send suggestions to combat the ever-rising tide of insantiy. Vacation destinations, a new friend, a nice bar, good music, a thought provoking book, even a decent movie, just something to bring excitment to my day. Life is not terrible, it's just . . . something. I don't know, there are no words. Bah. I am becoming a bitter old man.
-aaron |
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| Albums In The Mix |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|11:38 am] |
Odessey & Oracle - The Zombies
You Could Have It So Much Better - Franz Ferdinand
Z - My Morning Jacket
Electric Ladyland - Jimi Hendrix
When The Sun Is The Moon - Hudson Bell
Ca Ira - Roger Waters
Silent Alarm - Bloc Party |
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| Published-No One Cares |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|03:46 pm] |
Check out the arts magazine I'm writting for: www.tipp-c.com
The latest issue is not on the website yet, but all you Purdue kids be sure to pick up a copy and read my articles. They're fucking free you cheap bastards!
-aaron |
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| Cram It Down Your Throat |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|12:26 am] |
Ahoy!
Be sure to look out for the next issue of Tipp-C. It has a couple show reviews I wrote. I'm not getting paid for being a self-proclaimed rock critic yet, but I am getting college credit.
Sincerely,
The Bastard You Love:
-aaron
(There Phil, you bitch, I fixed the mistakes. If I had an editor then I could write things at 1am stoned and not have to worry about someone complaining. Steinbeck couldn't spell either, or Fitzgerald, just putting that out there...) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|01:04 pm] |
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I am losing my mind... |
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| You Want To Know |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|06:31 pm] |
Here are some tracks I've been listening to lately:
Fake Palindromes - Andrew Bird
The Drugs Don't Work - Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
Gold Digger - Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx
An Ordinary Girl - I Am Kloot
Whenever You Breathe Out, I Breathe In (Positive Negative) - Modest Mouse
Naked As We Came - Iron & Wine
Car - Built To Spill
The Guitar Man - Cake
Marching Bands Of Manhattan - Death Cab For Cutie
I Am The Key - Spoon
Hey Jude - The Overton Berry Trio
Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan |
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| Sermon From The Mount |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|01:21 am] |
Dear Adoring Public,
I’ve found it. The answer, the key, the final piece to the giant, intricate puzzle picture of love; I have found it. Love is a chemical addiction. Love is series of chemical reactions stored in the brain. Connection after connection, minute after minute after hour after day your brain is storing and sorting the same feeling, sending the mosaic pattern emotion down the spine into the heart and through to the soul. The soul twists and changes and shapes its self until it yearns for the essence of life it has created. The begins body to need the rush of sweet chemical bliss like heroin in a junkie’s vein, like red wine down a drunk’s throat, like spent smoke rolling off lips. Your body needs love.
Love, this mysterious emotion is neither truly bad nor good, but exists in the central axis of creation inside our heads. Our mind craves love for excitement, for the ultimate rush of heightened spectrum spanning feelings, and finally the slow pause of safety on which those emotions softly land.
There is something deeper, something bigger and broader than the sky working behind the peace in our souls. This great collective of unifying matter is working to push love in the direction it needs, towards truth and beauty. Love is an addictive byproduct to the basic connection between perceived reality and imagination. What we as individuals do with love will chart the direction love will be swept. Make love true and it will be beautiful, and make love beautiful so it will true.
I have no reason to believe I follow these rules correctly. In fact, I could just be fucking wasted with nothing better to do than to babble on about complete nonsense while wishing I was deeply engaged in great sex.
Bitter Sweetly Yours,
-aaron |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|09:52 am] |
I said I would report back from the front lines of love, and indeed I will. The massacre is beyond anything you can imagine. Dreams are scattered across the mind-field in bits and tattered pieces, emotions lay dying in the pits of despair and depression. Forces have been weakened and moral is low. It's a terrible scene here in the midst of the War of Love.
But why did we send our best and brightest to die in the these troubled, foreign fields? Perhaps we're fighting this war for all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong places. The Sex-Drive started a campaign of lies and slander, convincing the Heart to overthrow the Brain and turning the whole Body against itself. And so here we find ourselves, broken, battered and unable to remember what the hell we're fighting for. . . .
Perhaps the problems lies somewhere within the Brain. The Sex-Drive has always been a sneaky bastard, only looking out for itself. And the Heart has always been unstable, floating from this and that to the other. The Brain is to blame. It should have known better for Christ's sake! What lies has it been ingesting?
There in lies the root of the problem. The Brain has believed the lies. The lie of love.
You have to understand that the Brain has been presented with the most ideal description of love and will not settle for anything less. Fairy-Tales and fireworks and moonlight fucking, the whole works, the complete set of two souls joined together in a world of corruption and hate, brought together to over-come and conquer the forces of evil, bringing peace and joy to all the earth. Well, the jokes is on you. There is no true love.
Love needs to be redefined for our modern age. No more searching and crying and striving for some unatainable goal. Love, like I have said, is hard fucking work. Love is a verb and it must be treated as such. Constant moving and reinventing, continuous movement and change.
We are all looking for love. We look everywhere, in every person, and we find small parts of the love we so desperately search. We latch on to these pieces hoping that the collective whole will someday come to fruition. And yet, nothing comes.
A new idea of love needs to be formed.
So dear reader, what is the solution? I have no answers, not yet. But until then I will keep reporting from the front. Wish me luck.
-aaron |
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